Wednesday, October 18, 2006
..Lots.Of.Poems.All.How.I.Feel..
..POST.AT.THE.BOTTOM.IF.YOU.DONT.WANNA.READ.POEMS..
She is the type of girl that wishes on stars,
Even though she knows nothing will happen.
She still wants some hope,
that her life will be better.
She wishes to be prettier,
a stronger person.
But most of all,
with tears running down her face,
She wishes for him.
--
And as I lie outside staring up at the stars,
With the autumn air chilling my body,
I want something more than this.
I will plaster on a smile again tomorrow.
I will pretend to be 'just fine' and be strong.
But right now,
I am just going to break down and cry.
--
She has to put on that smile,
Just so you never know she's hurt.
So she doesn't have to explain what's wrong.
So when people look at her,
They won't call her the unhappy girl.
She wants to be strong,
So that she will actually be okay one day.
--
The worst way to be is afraid.
Afraid that you will never get through this,
Scared that you will never love someone else.
Afraid that someday you will really kill yourself.
Worried that you will never be okay.
--
And one day she hopes her smile will be real.
And for every day that she spent with tears in her eyes,
You will feel all of the pain.
--
Someday I hope you will be sorry for what you've done.
I hope you look back at everything that happened and feel horrible.
I hope you realize what you've done to me, how you killed me.
I want you to feel like the asshole you are.
--
You don't know me.
And you never will.
The person you see.
It isn't really me.
--
Maybe it will hurt a little less
If I just pretend everything is okay.
Maybe it will completely dissapear,
If I laugh a little louder.
Maybe I will want to live again.
If I just struggle through one more day. Maybe my pretended happiness will become real.
If I believe that I will be okay with all my might.
Hey everyone! so .. those poems .. wow .. i read them on this site .. and yeah .. thought id publish them here .. coz i like them .. well today we got our drama parts .. got the one i wanted, not sure if i want it anymore though .. not sure what i want anymore .. i know that i want certain people to quit talking shit about me .. when i can hear them .. you dont even understand how fucking hard it is to be sitting in class, and then they start talking about you. it hurts. alot. last night i talked to a friend about everything. and it was weird, coz shes going through pretty much the same thing right now. for once someone understands, just sucks that theres nothing i can do to help her situation. but w/e. i think that some things are so over-fucking-rated. why is it that you can give advice, and people will take it, and it will help them alot, but you have the same problem, and you cant take your own advice, theres nothing you can do to help your problem?! someone wana explain this to me? also, .. dammit i lost my train of thought when mum called .. hmm .. ohh, so yeah .. things are getting a little better now, i guess. except for the backstabbing friends, bullshitting guys, and volleyball. i now have drama to look forward too. and tomorrow after school im workin in the canteen with alli & adri & evyn :)
well anyways. gotta go cook supper.
love yall x
SIGN OFF HERE at 4:48 p.m.
: 7:15 p.m. 